Seasonality and me

Or why Autumn is the superlative season. I wrote this a couple of months ago, and with the see-saw of temperatures of the fall, it’s still true all season.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash Image of bright orange, crisp fall leaves on the ground

I woke up this morning with two layers of blankets on and an unwillingness to touch the floor with my bare feet. First morning under 50F of the autumn (which it really isn’t quite yet). I dressed in a long sleeved shirt (first in a long time), pulled on my favorite, vibrant hand-knit wool socks and about half way through the morning broke down and turned on the fireplace because… cold. And I’m one of those people who commit with heaters/aircons. Once they are on for the season or off for the season, that’s it. Regardless of it being stupidly easy for me to just flip a switch. No!

I noticed by mid-afternoon that the bright sunlight I usually have til about 2 or 3 was pretty muted, cold light, instead of warm, by about 12:30. I contemplated my kettle and my teas – which only get love from me about 7 months out of the year. 

I made soup yesterday, harvested potatoes and took my first seasonal evening walk requiring a jacket. And “enjoyed” my annual “beginning of jacket season lose my keys because they are on a key scrunchy that goes over my wrist that i put over my jacket… and promptly lost when I took the jacket off half way through and now must rewalk my route 2 more times to find the damned keys” idiocy. Seriously people. I do this every.damned.year.

I made bread the day before and put dried cranberries on my shopping list for fall harvest bread making. I gave some side eye to the two pumpkins my garden produced and wondered if it was too early to pluck them (yes, yes it is). And I seriously thought about putting the greatest Autumn/halloween feel good movie of all time on last night: “Meet Me in St. Louis” last night, but I ultimately decided that it had to be at least actually “Autumn” if not Oct 1 to watch it. 

I busted out all the candles and did some candlelight restorative yoga last night with the doors open letting the brisk night air into my house. I wandered about a little apprehensively on how little light there will be soon outside of work hours. How little me-time in the daylight there will be. How long the nights may feel this winter on my own.

Photo by Massimiliano Morosinotto on Unsplash Image of snow and evergreen tree covered mountain peak at dusk with the transition of link sky to purple to night sky with lots of stars

But, I love the fall. I love the leaves and how bright all the colors are. I love the slap in the face of the cold night air when I go for a walk. You can’t help but feel alive. I love how I eat out/get take out less because I have dressed for warmth and comfort… not to be seen 🙂 And I love how it’s a quieting time. Or at least it used to be. This is the first time in 16 years fall isn’t “new school schedule, new sports schedule, meeting teachers, actively participating in the education process etc.”. And it makes me remember, dully, slightly, through a bunch of cobwebs, how much I loved the fall because everything slows down, and I can live more deliberately. I have to WANT to be outside to bundle up and face the colder air. And as things come to an end, I used to be more conscious of that and excited to say goodbye to things. Keep the few things worth keeping. Abandon the rest. And hunker down for the winter. 

Fall has always been a season of “renewal” for me. Renewal of commitment to do only the things I really love. To enjoy the things that are really only special this time of year. To remind myself why connecting to other humans needs to be deliberate and thoughtful – because I don’t just pass neighbors on the street and can’t just go to the park to be an unintegrated observer. I choose. I act. I engage. I breathe. I am.

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