So happy, I can’t stop crying

It was Spring here, for a few days anyway. Snow this weekend 🙂 I managed to make myself actually log off from work just after 5 (a rarity these days). I was mostly inspired by the need to take a walk in the 70 degree weather. Because. Duh. And also. Glorious. I put airpods in, wrapped a light jacket around my waist, started some peppy music and walked my favorite circuit around the neighborhood. I love this particular stretch of road because the mountains are just awesome. Especially with sunshine and snow. 

Quiet road and sidewalk in the foreground and tall, snow-covered mountains in the distance with a brilliant blue sky. No filter people. It was just that beautiful.

So many moments I found myself grinning and shaking my head, so overwhelmed with a good feeling. But I caught myself on the edge of tears even in the midst of grinning. I think the stress has me on the verge, teetering on a line. I took deep breaths. I enjoyed the music. I paused to take several pictures of the naked trees on the sidewalks I’ve walked thousands of times. I leaned my head back and smiled up at the blue sky.

Image of sidewalk with lawns and houses and huge, wintering sycamore trees glowing in the dying sunlight

I thought about how much I’ll miss the mountains, and I grinned even more. I’m just so ready. I’m ready for ocean and beach, forests and rivers and lakes and ponds. I’m ready for epic sunrises over water. Something different.

About halfway through my walk, I saw a neighbor’s car coming home from work and they pulled over and we chatted for awhile. And we smiled and both cried. This is my most favorite person on our street. They are amazing and strong and someone I genuinely love and will miss. And they told me how I just glowed – even through the tears. And how I can always lean on how much I know this is the right decision for me.

So I’m going to keep that in my heart and mind when things feel hard – I’m glowing even through the tears. Change is hard, but this change is good and right for me.  And I’m going to remember that I can thrive and have energy and excitement and have mixed feelings about it all. And that’s ok.

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